You left me your cat, Kiko, mum. I’ve been feeling this emptiness since you’ve passed away, mum. In some way, it feels like someone has ripped me out an organ. You know, you’re the first thing I think about when I wake up. You’re always on my mind, actually.
I miss you so much. I miss all about you. I miss your smile, I miss how Kiko became my favorite cat because of you (in a time I didn’t like cats, at all), I miss your strength, your passion for orchids, the way you were always ready to help people, to make people smile. I miss your friendship, the way you made me feel special, your touch, your elegance, your energy… everything. I miss everything about you. You’re the most special person I’ve ever met. And I’m so proud of being your daughter.
It’s kind of weird, but I feel Kiko as a part of you, due to how much you loved him.
One says time heels the pain. I’m afraid time takes my memories of us together, away. So, every day I try to remember our moments, the things that used to make us happy. I don’t care if it hurts. It also makes me smile.
Two years and a half had passed, but for me it feels like it was yesterday. It’s quite strange, isn’t it? I still feel the emptiness, every time I get back home. But then, there is Kiko, waiting for me to give him love and care. Maybe he feels that I was the one who needed love. It’s kind of weird, but I feel Kiko as a part of you, due to how much you loved him. He’s “someone” you have left me. It makes life without you a little less lonely.
This is the third Christmas without you, mum. It hurts so damn much. Yesterday, I went to the Cafe we used to go, but you were missing. It was after I finished buying all Christmas gifts. I remembered how good you were on wrapping up. I’m a mess. So, I went home and just stayed there, with Kiko, playing with him. It makes me feel better, when I’m sad.
It’s Christmas time and I know you’d hate see me cry. I’m not as strength as you were, but I try not to cry. I try to smile instead. And I look at Kiko, and remember when you brought him home, for the first time. He’s so big now, mum. Yes, he stills as cute as you have left him.
You know, me, dad, Kiko, everyone whom loved you miss you so freaking much.
And you, guys, show everyone whom matters, love. Even if who matters is your cat. After all, that’s all Christmas is about, isn’t it?
|Velvet and pearls skirt:||Zara|